Tuesday, 24 April 2018

Still Me.

18th January 2018.

A date that will be forever etched in my mind.
The date of my first national screening mammogram.

I remember the morning vividly - crisp, cold and sunny.
My only concern?
That I must be officially old to have received that particular invitation through the post!

Fast forward three and a half months and I am sitting here, two surgeries later and twenty lymph nodes lighter, contemplating the start of chemotherapy in thirteen days time.
It's a scary step into the unknown.

My world has been spun on its axle and breast cancer has appeared out of nowhere.
Small and early, but grade 3.

Each set of results was an emotional body blow.
Words like lymph nodes and oestrogen and calcifications acquired a whole new significance.
FEC T has become shorthand for my weapon of choice to obliterate any rogue cells still lurking around.
Cancer has suddenly become very real but I won't let it define me.

Still me.

Wednesday, 27 December 2017

Clouds of grey.

Sewing by fairylight.
For the past five days my sewing machine has remained in an unused and hidden state.

Today I reclaimed it for a retro Paddington coffee cosy, but only after I'd braved the grey clouds to mooch in the veggie patch, abandoned for most of December.

I'll use the term veggie patch loosely, as in December it tends to resemble a mud bath.
Although this morning, due to the compost bin upending itself and splaying the contents across the mud it looked practically tropical!

I love my veggie patch.
The perfect antidote to hours on the sewing machine.


Saturday, 23 December 2017

Winding down for Christmas. The twitchiness of adapting to the post orders lull.

For the past month or so my life has revolved around the daily post office dash, interspersed with the odd fabric crisis and packaging alarm calls before the sun has risen.

On the plus side, those early alarm calls meant the daily serenade of bird song.
And for the cats it meant an extra breakfast and extended snoozing, while I wrestled with cellotape, cellophane and the temperamental printer.

And then it stopped.

Thursday was my cut off date for sending before Christmas; the orders whirlwind has ground to a much needed halt.

And today I'm twitchy.

The sewing machine is packed away, and I'm getting withdrawal symptoms.
The garden's soggy, no distraction there.
By tomorrow evening I'll be fine, but for's taking a lot of willpower to maintain a distance between me and the fabric!

On the plus side, the machine free table, newly beeswaxed and bedecked with gingham, is looking rather wonderful.
Yesterday it was used for my first ever sit down meal for six.
A pre Christmas family dinner, and the perfect opportunity to dust off an ever growing vintage glass collection.
Cut glass bonbon dishes, delicate shot glasses for mini desserts, vintage trifle bowls...everything I love.

Christmas is family time, more than ever this year as my son emigrated to Austria a few months ago, so family time is precious.

And I love any excuse to bake, to rock a new apron!
(This one is blue and white whales)

Merry Christmas!



Sunday, 5 November 2017

Measure, measure and measure again!

This week, at the grand old age of fifty, I made my very first pair of grown up-lined-and-complete-with-header-tape curtains.
Many things surprised me - that I'd never done it before, that header tape is cheaper now than it was 20 years ago - that my slapdash measuring wasn't accurate.

Ah yes - the measuring.
After a brief and approximate flurry of a tape measure, when it came to seam allowances I decided my eye would be fine.
Fine meant one curtain hanging a good inch longer than the other.
And a hurried repair job resulting in a double seam on one curtain.
Luckily I love the fabic enough to overlook this minor failing.
Afterall, it's flamingos, backed with pink and white polka dots.

I have my eye on more fabric, this time for the bedroom.
Having recently gone sofa free I now have the space I've craved to spread out with reams of fabric.

I've had a love hate relationship with the sofa.
Sometimes there's nothing better than being sprawled under a blanket on the sofa, chocolate in one hand, remote in the other.
But it was making me lazy.
And taking up valuable floor space.
Suddenly, I was resenting the sofa.
Glaring at it.
So, last week, as a victim of my recently acquired decluttering frenzy, it was unceremoniously ousted to the pavement, enroute to the local recyling centre.
And I haven't missed it at all.

For anyone interested in making their own curtains, I found the Craftsy blog post above very easy to follow.
And my tip...measure, measure and measure again!

Saturday, 29 July 2017

F-F-F-fifty. Clearing out and starting afresh.


Well, two weeks in and my world didn't spin on its axle.
I didn't suddenly find my inbox innundated with Saga offers and Plan your own Funeral promotions.
I didn't suddenly wake up feeling morose.
But what it did give me was a sense of restlessness and craving for adventure.
Which is a bit tricky when I struggle to stay awake past 11pm and have a tolerance for alcohol that fails after a two glasses of wine!

When I think back to the alcohol consumed from communal blue jugs during my backpacking, kibbutz hopping days...
Or the partying till 3am and still up for work by 6...
Now, I have an out of date passport, an over stuffed coalshed and get excited by branch loppers!
And an urge to streamline my accumulated clutter and chuck out anything that isn't useful or beautiful.

It's amazing how much clutter we accumulate over the years, all that ''just in case'' stuff we keep for a time when it may be useful.
Layers upon layers of STUFF.
I'm still working my way through to the darkest depths of the coalshed, through the coal blackened cobwebs and dustballs hiding decades of accumulated clutter destined for the skip.
Inside, I've thrown out so much clutter that if I ignore the shop stock it's looking practically minimal :)

Strangely satisfying and definitely a knock on effect from reaching fifty.

Monday, 3 July 2017

Suki. Diary of a cat with hyperthyroidism.

So, a week in from the first diagnosis and I would say my pill giving technique needs some improvement.
A combination of me still learning and Suki being wise to all the tricks.
''Just mix it in with her food''  the vet said.
Ha!!! Suki just nibbles around it.
''Coat it with something sticky, like cream cheese, and the cat won't notice it''  said the forum post.
Well, notice it she did!
So for now we're perservering with the pill-down-the-throat technique.
And eight times out of ten I'm sure it goes down.
Although today, after Suki dutifully made all the swallowing actions, I later discovered it on the outside mat.
We're getting there, but she's upset with me today, and hiding under the raspberry canes.
And I feel suitably guilty.

''I'm sure there's a hedgehog here somewhere...''

Tuesday, 27 June 2017

Suki. Diary of a cat with newly diagnosed hyperthyroidism.

Age 14 and two thirds.
Skitty, faithful and a mini diva, yesterday diagnosed with hyperthyroidism.

It's a big responsibility, knowing a pet is totally dependent on you for daily medication for life.
Daily administering of a pill, twice daily.
The first went down on attempt number 3.
The second I went for the gentler approach of hiding in food, but cats aren't stupid, and she ate around it!
I'm going to have to get creative/devious with the tablets.

This is a fortnight where Suki turned my hair grey with worry and putting off the inevitable visit to the vets.
There was the audible breathing, hours spent sleeping under the raspberry canes, cystitis, and finally a lump the size of a broadbean on her neck.
The lump worried me.
Terrified me, with thoughts of cancer.
And then the vet heard a swooshing sound whilst listening to her heart.
The words ''heart murmur'' were mentioned, and she was kept in for tests.
And I had to walk through a packed waiting room minus a cat.

The waiting was awful.
Not getting results over the phone sounded ominous.
But the heart results were clear, kidney disease was clear and hyperthyroidism suddenly didn't seem so bad a diagnosis.

And Suki's home.